When people think of “dementia,” it is natural to next think “memory loss.” What we may not be prepared for is how other behaviors can change and even become difficult to manage. In fact, it is these challenging behaviors that families report as more troublesome than memory loss. 

When someone in the family has dementia, two important facts need to be respected, particularly around the winter holidays:

We want to spend the time we can with our loved ones. Yet, people, noise and activity can easily overwhelm those with dementia.

Depression in older adults is not uncommon, yet there are many unfounded myths about it. Let’s dispel three of these, because believing them can delay or prevent timely treatment.

Parkinson’s disease is a neurodegenerative disorder that develops slowly over time. About 10,000,000 people around the world (including 1,000,000 in the U.S. and 55,000 in Canada) live with Parkinson’s. This is a long-lasting condition (up to 20 years) that has no cure. However, medications and therapies are available to help people manage their symptoms better.

Certain types of dementia (e.g., Alzheimer’s, Lewy body, Parkinson’s and frontotemporal dementia) may affect language ability. People who have these conditions may forget the names of people and things. They could use words that mean something entirely unrelated. Sometimes, they speak in “word salad,” using a combination of words and sounds that seem to make no sense. Over time, many might stop speaking entirely.

When you or someone you love experiences a memory lapse, you may worry it is the start of dementia. Yet, most of us who have memory challenges as we age are not experiencing dementia.

Did you know many common medications can mimic dementia in older adults? Or, that these medications can make pre-existing symptoms worse in someone who has dementia? These medications include both prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs that could be in your loved one’s medicine cabinet.

Both Malcolm Young, guitarist with the band AC/DC, and David Cassidy, 1970s teen musical sensation, have been in the news lately due to their  young onset  dementia. Young, 64, died Nov.18, and Cassidy, 67, died Nov. 21.

When there is dementia in the family, we encounter new challenges with holiday gatherings. Dad wants to tell his World War II story many times over Christmas dinner. Mom gets overheated from the cheerful fire in the fireplace and removes her shirt. 

Where you had hoped for smiles, hugs and happy chatter, instead there are shouts, tears and toileting accidents.

With the right approach, everyone can enjoy the holidays, especially the person with dementia. Keep these three important ideas in mind:

How do you make a parent’s birthday special? Maybe Mom or Dad has their favorite breakfast in bed. Maybe there’s a special card, gift or places to go together. Everything is meant to say “You’re important to me, I know what makes you happy and I love you.” This is communicated through the choices made: Mom’s favorite coffee. A shirt for Dad in his favorite color. Specially chosen sights and sounds that hit them right in their “Ahhhhh!” spots as we try to make them feel happy and honored.