Grandfathers, uncles, fathers, stepfathers and all our male role models remind us that growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional. We thank and honor them with a testament of “dad jokes,” stories and fond memories that are sure to make you groan, laugh and smile.

1. My family has owned an appliance store for 75 years. As a kid, I LOVED "going to work with Dad." In the summer, when school was out, I basically lived at the family business. One day, my dad's appliance store got a party store refrigerator in (the kind with the glass doors where you can see the cans of soda). This was a rare item for his store, so he asked me if I wanted to set up my own shop outside of his store. I was 5 years old, and this was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me; I would have a shop like dad! We made signs and purchased the soda. Then, I declared I thought I should sell hot dogs too! My dad went along with this. I doubt his employee enjoyed grilling for me all afternoon, but it was a great day for me! My dad told me it was my store, and I could set up my own prices and after my "hard day of work" we could go spend my earnings! I decided that 25 cents per hotdog and pop was a fair price to ask. I sold all 75 combo meals and was so proud of the $18.75 I made. As a 5-year-old, I had no idea that my dad spent much more than that on my store, what I knew was that I was working at my store "just like daddy." Looking back as an adult, it makes me smile that he went to such great strides to make working at the shop with him fun. That night I treated the whole family to ice cream with my earnings. Via Tiffany Robinson, training manager
2. My maternal grandmother loved lilacs. My grandfather planted a hedge of them for her and tended it for decades without it ever blooming even once. I clearly recall him up a tall ladder pruning it in the fall – the hedge must have been 15 feet tall and 10 feet wide. One year in his late 60s, he had a heart attack in the fall, and the lilacs never got pruned. That next spring for the first time, it EXPLODED into bloom. He was so proud – and absolutely astonished! We all took it as a form of comfort around our stress about his health and a sign that things would now be OK. And, this is how we all learned you prune spring-blooming plants just after they finish blossoming in the spring, but never in the fall, lest you prevent the plant from blooming the next spring. Via Deborah Bier, PhD, director of special populations
3. When storm clouds would gather, my father-in-law would inevitably exclaim: “I hope the rain keeps up.” He would pause for just a moment and then explain to anyone within earshot, “That way it won’t come down.” Via Helen Beamer, community enrichment director
4. My dad mistakenly put on tinted lip balm and proceeded to continue his day with red stained lips and mustache. It was definitely not his shade. Via Haley Kotwicki, communications specialist
5. My dad broke so many windows around the neighborhood as a kid that he wasn’t allowed to go inside any of his friends’ houses. Via Haley Kotwicki, communications specialist
6. When Gags and Gifts stores were still popular, my dad purchased a “fart machine.” There was a speaker and one remote, which resembled a beeper. By clicking the button on the remote, the speaker would emit series of toots. He would bring it everywhere just in case the opportunity arose to play a practical joke. His favorite place for this was crowded elevators because he could have a rapt and almost trapped audience. Via Haley Kotwicki
7. Our family of three decided to try an exotic restaurant one evening even though my dad was strictly a meat and potatoes guy. My mom and I ordered bland meals, but he ordered a huge bowl of noodle soup. When are dishes arrived, he could already see something was not quite right with the soup, but he started eating anyway — until he noticed the noodles connected at one source. He scooped the origin of the noodles out of the broth and discovered they weren’t noodles: It was a jellyfish with lengthy tentacles. My dad then desperately tried to trade meals with my mother and me. Via Haley Kotwicki
8. “Dad, I’m hungry.” “Look in the mirror, and you’ll get fed up.” Via Anne Hein, communications manager
9. “Dad, I’m hungry.” “How about a nice knuckle sandwich?” Via Anne Hein
10. “What time is it, Dad?” (Looks at wrist) “A hair past the freckle.” Via Anne Hein
11. My grandfather was a talented pianist. He had never had formal training, but he would watch his sister’s piano lessons with her teacher. He learned through memorization and mimicry, although his sister quit taking lessons and stopped playing herself. He would play frequently, and in the summer, he would open the window behind the piano so their neighbors could hear his music. Their neighbors would stop by the window and listen to him play. Via Haley Kotwicki
12. My dad’s signature dish was his famous trail dinner, which consisted of cut up hot dogs with beans. He couldn’t make anything else, but that dish was delicious. Via Haley Kotwicki
13. My dad and I loved going to our local drive-in to watch movies and spend time together. When the drive-in closed, I was heartbroken. One summer night, he parked our car in the backyard, grabbed a few movies and placed a portable DVD player on the dashboard. For the entire summer, we pretended to have our own drive-in. Via Haley Kotwicki
14. Our family would take long Sunday drives through the country, but I always hated it because my dad would stop constantly and have me pick up rocks on the side of the road for landscaping. I’m pretty sure my father was breaking some law, and I was his 9-year-old accomplice. Via Haley Kotwicki
15. My dad had started a new medication for his stomach and intestines, but it gave him vivid nightmares. He could remember one nightmare: I was standing at the end of his bed and wearing a Santa hat. I knew this was going to be the best prank. That night I grabbed a Santa hat from storage and snuck to the end of his bed. I made a tiny noise just loud enough to cause him to stir. When he saw me, he rolled over gave a loud yelp and started laughing. He started lobbing pillows at me, and I ran out giggling. Via Haley Kotwicki
16. When my sister was a little girl (7 or 8 years old) she boldly declared to our dad that she needed a training bra. (She was nowhere close to needing one.) His response, “What are you training them for? Do they do tricks?” Via Anne Hein