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Honoring Men in Our Lives (Clone)

by ComForCare on Jun 27, 2016 9:23:27 AM

Grandfathers, uncles, fathers, stepfathers and all our male role models remind us that growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional. dadism_time.jpgWe thank and honor them with a testament of “dad jokes,” stories and fond memories that are sure to make you groan, laugh and smile.

  1. “Dad, I’m hungry!” “Hi, hungry. I’m Dad!”
  2. My dad mistakenly put on tinted lip balm and proceeded to continue his day with red stained lips and mustache. It was definitely not his shade. Via Haley Kotwicki
  3. My dad broke so many windows around the neighborhood as a kid that he wasn’t allowed to go inside any of his friends’ houses.
  4. When Gags and Gifts stores were still popular, my dad purchased a “fart machine.” There was a speaker and one remote, which resembled a beeper. By clicking the button on the remote, the speaker would emit series of toots. He would bring it everywhere just in case the opportunity arose to play a practical joke. His favorite place for this was crowded elevators because he could have a rapt and almost trapped audience. Via Haley Kotwicki
  5. Our family of three decided to try an exotic restaurant one evening even though my dad was strictly a meat and potatoes guy. My mom and I ordered bland meals, but he ordered a huge bowl of noodle soup. When are dishes arrived, he could already see something was not quite right with the soup, but he started eating anyway until he noticed the noodles connected at one source. He scooped the origin of the noodles out of the broth and discovered they weren’t noodles: It was a jellyfish with lengthy tentacles. My dad then desperately tried to trade meals with my mother and me. Via Haley Kotwicki
  6. “Dad, I’m hungry.” “Look in the mirror, and you’ll get fed up.” Via Anne Hein
  7. “Dad, I’m hungry.” “How about a nice knuckle sandwich?” Via Anne Hein
  8. “What time is it, Dad?” (Looks at wrist) “A hair past the freckle.” Via Anne Hein
  9. My grandfather was a talented pianist. He had never had formal training, but he would watch his sister’s piano lessons with her teacher. He learned through memorization and mimicry, although his sister quit taking lessons and stopped playing herself. He would play frequently, and in the summer, he would open the window behind the piano so their neighbors could hear his music. Their neighbors would stop by the window and listen to him play.
  10. My dad’s signature dish was his famous trail dinner, which consisted of cut up hot dogs with beans. He couldn’t make anything else, but that dish was delicious.
  11. “You know what they say about cliffhangers...” Via @baddadjokes
  12. “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?” “Nacho cheese.”
  13. “Can you help me put on my shoes, Dad?” “I don’t think they’ll fit me.” Via niceonedad.com
  14. “Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?” “In case he got a hole-in-one.”
  15. My dad and I loved going to our local drive-in to watch movies and spend time together. When the drive-in closed, I was heartbroken. One summer night, he parked our car in the backyard, grabbed a few movies and placed a portable DVD player on the dashboard. For the entire summer, we pretended to have our own drive-in. Via Haley Kotwicki
  16. (Reversing the car) “Ah this takes me back.” Via buzzfeed.com
  17. Dad: “There are going to be thousands of people in London tonight.” Me: “Why?” Dad: “Because they live there.”
  18. (Grabbing a clean shirt) Me: “I’m going to change.” Dad: “Don’t change. I like you just the way you are.”
  19. Our family would take long Sunday drives through the country, but I always hated it because my dad would stop constantly and have me pick up rocks on the side of the road for landscaping. I’m pretty sure my father was breaking some law, and I was his 9-year-old accomplice.
  20. My dad had started a new medication for his stomach and intestines, but it gave him vivid nightmares. He could remember one nightmare: I was standing at the end of his bed and wearing a Santa hat. I knew this was going to be the best prank. That night I grabbed a Santa hat from storage and snuck to the end of his bed. I made a tiny noise just loud enough to cause him to stir. When he saw me, he rolled over gave a loud yelp and started laughing. He started lobbing pillows at me, and I ran out giggling.
  21. “A magician was walking down the street, then he turned into a grocery store.” Via theoatmeal.com
  22. Conjunctivitis.com: a site for sore eyes.
  23. I adored my maternal grandfather. He gave me my first space for "my own" vegetable garden in his yard. Although I'm sure now he did plenty of secret work on that garden, I didn't know it then. I was so proud of it! That was when I was four, and now over fifty years later, he gardening bug that bit me is still alive and well. Memories of him are never far when I'm working with plants. Via Deborah Bier
  24. I have a little game with my three sons: One will hop on my back, and I pretend not to know he is there, while his brothers yell, “There is someone behind you!” I will whip around to look behind me, which causes the piggyback rider to twirl. It usually ends with us all laughing but very dizzy. Via Tano Pillot
  25. When my sister was a little girl (7 or 8 years old) she boldly declared to our dad that she needed a training bra. (She was nowhere close to needing one.) His response, “What are you training them for? Do they do tricks?” Via Anne Hein
  26. When storm clouds would gather, my father-in-law would inevitably exclaim: “I hope the rain keeps up.” He would pause for just a moment and then explain to anyone within earshot, “That way it won’t come down.” Via Helen Beamer

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